LASIK, Part 2: What your best friends WON'T tell you...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I'm super excited about my LASIK and not having to wear my contacts, and certainly my glasses - which I've had to wear for the last two weeks, so I wasn't nervous about my pre-op appointment yesterday.

My friend, and at this point, I use that term loosely, Kelly, who just had LASIK a few months ago, kept asking me if I was nervous, but seriously, what's there to be nervous about? I'm going to be able to see, right??

Hmmm....

So I'm sitting in the exam chair having a routine eye exam and upon completion, the nice lady begins to tell me what to expect during the LASIK procedure.

Ok, first of all, you should know that I'm not stupid. I didn't think it was a magical laser and the doctor was my Fairy Godmother and there would be singing and dancing, and POOF! I can see!

I know they have to cut a flap and then use the laser to reshape your eye, which is what corrects your vision. I'm down with that.

What I'm not down with is this -

"The doctor will lay you back and put a series of numbing drops in your eye. Your left eye with be patched, and he will work on the right eye first. You won't feel any pain, only hot and cold sensation, and pressure. When everything is ready and he's sure your eye is numb, he will insert a (can't remember the name, but think pap smear, to pry you open) to keep your eye open. When he's ready to proceed, he'll ask you to look straight ahead so he can apply a SUCTION to your EYE BALL."

Yeah, let's just stop right there. You may need a sec to digest that. I know I did.

"What the suction does is increase the pressure in the eye so that it becomes hard. It's easier to cut the flap when the eye is hard rather than when it's soft. Now, when the pressure rises in the eye, you will lose complete sight in that eye, and since your left eye is covered, this may cause a bit of anxiety."

You think???

"But don't worry, this will only last for about 8.5 seconds. This is when he will cut the flap. At this point, you will hear a sound like an electric razor."

Ok, you've got to be joking. So I'm laying on my back, completely blind, and she's tells me this man is going to come at my eye ball with a chainsaw??? I know she said it will "sound like an electric razor, " but HELLO! Interpretation? Chainsaw!!!!

"After he's made the flap, he'll release the pressure and the sight will come back to your eye."

So you say.

"Then he'll ask you to look at either the red or green laser as he reshapes your eye and that's pretty much it. As long as he's completely satisfied with how it went with your right eye, he'll proceed to your left eye."

Does anyone see anything wrong with this?? UH, blind... chainsaw...

Thanks friends for filling me in. I really appreciate it!

I'll let you know tomorrow if I was the latest victim of the Texas Chainsaw massacre (not sure how I'll do that...) or if I have 20/10 vision. Let's hope for the later!

1 comment:

Staci said...

rolling......please dont kill me freaky doctor....

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THE Stephanie
I’m Stephanie - wife to one extremely handsome cop; mother to two extremely silly kids. The hubs and I have been married since February ’99. I love him more each day and simply can’t get enough of him. My daughter, Ashton, is 12 going on 17. She’s beautiful, creative, smart, and oh, so sassy. Taylor, our son, is 8 and is so much like his daddy it’s scary. He makes me laugh all the time with the silly things he says and does. He won’t remember what you told him 5 minutes from now, just like his daddy. I love to laugh and spend time with friends and family. I’ve also recently discovered a love for cooking and enjoy sharing recipes. I love finding new blog friends, so be sure to leave a comment so I can do the same!
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